Edit: But I'm not a cynic, am I? I'm really more of a realist and an optimist simultaneously if that's possible. I'm a fool full of foolish feelings. It's kind of fascinating to me, the things that go on in my head. The back and forth intrigues me. I've come to accept it in this moment, the fact that the back and forth exists. The dichotomy between hope and despair. It shouldn't be forever though. That's the optimist and the realist speaking.