Sunday, September 14, 2014

My chest, my back....

Lol at that title. I'm so sore. The gym whooped my ass. Gotta love the DOMS (and hate them--we've got a very ambivalent relationship haha). That's only part of what's on my mind though. I can't sleep. My eyes are tired but my brain is wired. I'm lying here thinking about my past and about my future. I've gone through so much, you know? I guess it's just life. And I have so much more life ahead of me to live. I have so much more shit to go through, both good and bad. I suppose I should try to live for the ups while also trying to minimize the downs. That's what life is all about, right? Making the most of it (the time that we're here that is). I wouldn't say that life is where I want it to be right now, but it's still pretty damn good and it's brimming with possibilities. I feel good. And I think that I can go to sleep now. Good night, dreamers :)

Monday, September 8, 2014


Apparently eternity isn't as long as I thought, forever fades, and change is the only constant. Or maybe I'm just a cynic.

Edit: But I'm not a cynic, am I? I'm really more of a realist and an optimist simultaneously if that's possible. I'm a fool full of foolish feelings. It's kind of fascinating to me, the things that go on in my head. The back and forth intrigues me. I've come to accept it in this moment, the fact that the back and forth exists. The dichotomy between hope and despair. It shouldn't be forever though. That's the optimist and the realist speaking.

Sunday, September 7, 2014


I'm not sure what's up with this epidemic, but this is exactly how I feel about it. At least finish school and/or get a career first, Jesus Christ.

But I suppose:

Sunday, August 24, 2014


I copped a new whip today! I said goodbye to the 2011 Corolla and jumped into a 2014 Corolla :) I'm stoked on the new ride and I'm extremely proud of myself for the way that I've built up my credit over the years to the point that I didn't need a consigner for this purchase. I know it may sound stupid, but my credit has always been really important to me. Having good credit is something that I've always cherished. I know part of it stems from seeing others' experience with poor credit and the way that it has affected them. It also stems from the fact that I don't believe in paying interest on a credit card (at least not personally). I feel like that's just giving money away for nothing. Understandably, not everyone can afford to do that. But there are those that seem to relish living beyond their means and end up falling into debt. I'd rather be smart and pay the thing off in full every month (and trust me, the creditors take notice of that kind of punctuality). Finally it stems from the feeling of being approved for things. When I get approved for things, its as if they're telling me, "You have proven yourself, and we trust you." Phone service, cable service, my old apartment, my old motorcycle, etc. And now this car. It makes it feel as if the world is my oyster, and I'm looking forward to all that it has to offer!!! =)

Friday, July 25, 2014


I find that there's no use in denial with yourself. Why try to fool yourself when you're the only one in your head? Honesty is the best policy, but it starts with being honest with yourself. I think it's powerful to be able to recognize what you truly feel and what it is that you truly want. I suppose there are exceptions in extreme circumstances such as with Kubler-Ross's stages, but even that ends in acceptance. So acknowledge what you're feeling, acknowledge what you want. And if what you want is to no longer feel a certain way, then you take it from there. Admitting the problem is the first step to recovery (sorry for all the cliches, but it's true!). Food for thought.