Número Uno

Honestly, I learned a lot from my last relationship. And even though it's been a year or so since it ended, I'm still learning from it. I just read something which made me think about all of this now. I think I was pretty immature in a number of ways (well, we both had our moments, but let's focus on my blunders for now), and I'm glad that I can look back and recognize that. The whole situation gave me a pretty clear picture on what to look for as well as what to look out for (red flags) as far as potential future relationships go. I feel like I've developed fairly good insight on the way that I should treat a person as well as the way that I should expect to be treated. I guess they call it "wisdom" haha. It would have been nice to have wisened up sooner, but I suppose it's better late than never. In any event, I'm not looking for anything right now; I honestly don't have the time nor the desire to dedicate to something long-term at the moment. For the time being, I'm going to continue to focus on número uno: me, myself, and I <3

Gym Talk

As of today, my max squat and my max deadlift are both over 300 lbs. It would be amazing if I could get my bench up there too <3__<3

How To Make It In America

I'm here at work listening to Cudi and it reminded me of this show. I wish they would have finished it :/

Itch

I've got that itch again. And no, it's not something that I need to get checked out -.- I just feel a little restless. I want to get outta here and travel and see the world. I want to wake up in a new place, jump in a river, go through some woods, scale a mountain.... I've got an urge to be more physical too; jump on my bike and ride 100 miles, stand on my hands, jump and kick, flip, dive, swim.... I know all of it is coming. I'm in school right now. I work at my school, so I see a lot of this place. I study a lot and I get good grades. I don't have much time for other things...but I know that it's an investment in my future. A "work hard now so that I can play hard later" sort of thing. Just one more year until I have my Bachelor of Science in Nursing. One more year, man. Just one more year.

My chest, my back....

Lol at that title. I'm so sore. The gym whooped my ass. Gotta love the DOMS (and hate them--we've got a very ambivalent relationship haha). That's only part of what's on my mind though. I can't sleep. My eyes are tired but my brain is wired. I'm lying here thinking about my past and about my future. I've gone through so much, you know? I guess it's just life. And I have so much more life ahead of me to live. I have so much more shit to go through, both good and bad. I suppose I should try to live for the ups while also trying to minimize the downs. That's what life is all about, right? Making the most of it (the time that we're here that is). I wouldn't say that life is where I want it to be right now, but it's still pretty damn good and it's brimming with possibilities. I feel good. And I think that I can go to sleep now. Good night, dreamers :)

Sure

Apparently eternity isn't as long as I thought, forever fades, and change is the only constant. Or maybe I'm just a cynic.

Edit: But I'm not a cynic, am I? I'm really more of a realist and an optimist simultaneously if that's possible. I'm a fool full of foolish feelings. It's kind of fascinating to me, the things that go on in my head. The back and forth intrigues me. I've come to accept it in this moment, the fact that the back and forth exists. The dichotomy between hope and despair. It shouldn't be forever though. That's the optimist and the realist speaking.

Swerve

I'm not sure what's up with this epidemic, but this is exactly how I feel about it. At least finish school and/or get a career first, Jesus Christ.

But I suppose: