Give me a minute....

I'm still trying to catch my breath. 

Fo-cus!

I've been up since 5am trying to study, but I've been so incredibly distracted. I have too much on my mind, and it came out of nowhere. This sucks. I don't have an exam today, but still. Come on, Rick, FOCUS!

Edit: It's 9 till 3pm right now and I've literally been thinking about the same thing all day. The longer I think about it, the crazier my thoughts get. Can I get a muzzle for my mind, please? Like some eternal sunshine type shit? Damn.

Home

I miss my home.

Número Uno

Honestly, I learned a lot from my last relationship. And even though it's been a year or so since it ended, I'm still learning from it. I just read something which made me think about all of this now. I think I was pretty immature in a number of ways (well, we both had our moments, but let's focus on my blunders for now), and I'm glad that I can look back and recognize that. The whole situation gave me a pretty clear picture on what to look for as well as what to look out for (red flags) as far as potential future relationships go. I feel like I've developed fairly good insight on the way that I should treat a person as well as the way that I should expect to be treated. I guess they call it "wisdom" haha. It would have been nice to have wisened up sooner, but I suppose it's better late than never. In any event, I'm not looking for anything right now; I honestly don't have the time nor the desire to dedicate to something long-term at the moment. For the time being, I'm going to continue to focus on número uno: me, myself, and I <3

My chest, my back....

Lol at that title. I'm so sore. The gym whooped my ass. Gotta love the DOMS (and hate them--we've got a very ambivalent relationship haha). That's only part of what's on my mind though. I can't sleep. My eyes are tired but my brain is wired. I'm lying here thinking about my past and about my future. I've gone through so much, you know? I guess it's just life. And I have so much more life ahead of me to live. I have so much more shit to go through, both good and bad. I suppose I should try to live for the ups while also trying to minimize the downs. That's what life is all about, right? Making the most of it (the time that we're here that is). I wouldn't say that life is where I want it to be right now, but it's still pretty damn good and it's brimming with possibilities. I feel good. And I think that I can go to sleep now. Good night, dreamers :)

Sure

Apparently eternity isn't as long as I thought, forever fades, and change is the only constant. Or maybe I'm just a cynic.

Edit: But I'm not a cynic, am I? I'm really more of a realist and an optimist simultaneously if that's possible. I'm a fool full of foolish feelings. It's kind of fascinating to me, the things that go on in my head. The back and forth intrigues me. I've come to accept it in this moment, the fact that the back and forth exists. The dichotomy between hope and despair. It shouldn't be forever though. That's the optimist and the realist speaking.

Denial

I find that there's no use in denial with yourself. Why try to fool yourself when you're the only one in your head? Honesty is the best policy, but it starts with being honest with yourself. I think it's powerful to be able to recognize what you truly feel and what it is that you truly want. I suppose there are exceptions in extreme circumstances such as with Kubler-Ross's stages, but even that ends in acceptance. So acknowledge what you're feeling, acknowledge what you want. And if what you want is to no longer feel a certain way, then you take it from there. Admitting the problem is the first step to recovery (sorry for all the cliches, but it's true!). Food for thought.

Peace

I feel particularly enlightened in this very moment. I read just one sentence and I instantly felt different. I won't share the sentence though, it's personal. And I'm 99% sure that it wouldn't have the same effect for you readers anyway lol. Here's to hoping that this lasts for a loooooong time!

Cut The Shit

There comes a time when everyone should just cut the melodrama and act like adults, am I right? Or are we still children here?

Somewhat of a New Pet Peeve

Cell phones at the dinner table; it shouldn't happen. I fought this one before, but its a good rule. Granted it is the 21st century and we have become accustomed to not letting a single red notification or ping go unchecked (I'm guilty of this), I think that all the social media and texts can wait for just half an hour or so. Family, friends, and significant others that are right in front of you are more important. Partake in real life conversation. Make a real life connection. Leave the phone elsewhere or on vibrate. You'll be doing yourself and those around you a favor.

So This Is The New Year

I guess the New Year is supposed to signify some sort of progression, but really it's just a new day. Today is Tuesday and tomorrow will be Wednesday; that's about it. People make resolutions to start working out, eat healthy, be kinder to people, treat their significant other better, or whatever the case may be, but more than half of people don't even keep their resolutions past the first month or two into the New Year. So I say why wait until the first of January? If you want to progress, then start already. Start on the 15th, 25th, or 31st of December. Don't waste time making New Years resolutions and broadcasting them for the world to see via social media when there's a good chance you won't even stick to it. Make lifetime resolutions, and start them right now. With all cynicism aside, it really doesn't take a "New Year" to start becoming the best person that you can be. Just my two cents. Happy New Years, everyone :) (This is something I posted on FB yesterday; thought it was worth remembering.)